'Tis the Season to be Boring

Julie and I were at TJ Maxx recently. It's her favorite store on earth.

"Let's go to TJ Maxx!" she says.

And I say, "Okay."

That's what good husbands are supposed to say.

There isn't a whole lot for men to look at in T.J. Maxx. But there are clothes and a table of those "gifts for men" that you hope you"ll never actually receive.

They should rename it the "out of ideas and low on money" table. The stuff there takes the title for least actually used, least overall quality and shortest-lasting desirability. Stuff like those little flying helicopters (guaranteed to enthrall for seven minutes!) and snowball throwers.

That's right, snowball throwers. It's a kind of narrow paddle that will help you pack a good snowball and then you can throw it from the paddle.

Hope I see that under my Christmas tree!

Hanging near the checkout line was another item for men--the facial hair trimmer. They didn't actually declare it was for men on the package, but we all know who grows all the ugly facial hair!

That facial hair trimmer sent a little shiver up my spine.

All that little trimmer would have to do is pull just a little bit on those nose hairs--and you would hear horrifically shrill screaming from our bathroom.

No, thanks. I think I'll just stick with the ol' scissors.

On the way out of TJ Maxx, Julie asked, "Do you want anything?"

"No," I said.

Sometimes I even walk out of WalMart (my favorite store) without buying anything. I used to think buying nothing at WalMart was a physical impossibility. I mean, anything you really need you can buy at WalMart, right?

But I often find that, looking at everything, I want nothing.

Not the old me, let me tell you!

I used to want everything. And if they brought it out in another color, I'd want that too!

Most of the time now, when my family asks me what I want for Christmas, I really don't know.

Maybe it's age. "Stuff" has lost most of it's shine. We older people have seen it all before.

But I think it's really Jesus.

When I'm close to Jesus, I don't really care if I have the latest stuff.

Internet phone? Maybe someday. Hot car? All I see are payments. High-class clothes? Coffee stains.

Jesus satisfies me so well--in my soul, where it counts--that I find myself more and more content.

And that's a good feeling.

But it makes me boring at Christmas.

Sorry.

'Tis the Season to be Blessing...

As Christmas approaches (yes, it is CHRISTMAS, not "The Holiday Season"), I've been thinking about blessing people.

But before we talk about that...

A lot of people are ticked off that Christmas stuff has overtaken another beautiful holiday, "Thanksgiving."

You know--that ancient and now-almost-forgotten holiday that was recognized so we could thank God for all he gives us. As Paul preached through the Holy Spirit, "...because he himself gives all men life and breath and everything else" (Acts 17:25).

The invasion of Thanksgiving by Christmas advertising and decorating used to tick me off too. But now I understand. So many of us are so poor now (or stuff is so expensive, take your pick) that we have to start buying REALLY early so we can afford to give presents to those we love...

And those we like...

And those we secretly wish didn't live so close...

(Just KIDDING!)

But back to Christmas...

A lot of people, at least in retail and in restaurants, will be using those tragic words, "Happy Holidays!" (Can anything be more empty and meaningless than that?)

And, in an attempt to give a Christian, uplifting response, we will say one of the following:

"Merry Christmas" (if you're a Christian, I hope you have the guts to say that).

Or, "God bless you."

...what does that MEAN, anyway?

I tried to look up the word "bless" from several sources. The Amplified Bible puts it this way: "Blessed (happy, to be envied, and spiritually prosperous--with life-joy and satisfaction in God's favor and salvation, regardless of their outward conditions) Matthew 4:3."

Wow. That's a mouthful.

Also, in verse 4, "Blessed [with a happiness produced by the experience of God's favor and especially conditioned by the revelation of His matchless grace]".

The American College Dictionary puts it this way: "Bless: to request of God the bestowal of divine favor upon; to protect or guard from evil."

A "blessing" seems to be almost a physical thing!

Take Esau in his famous rivalry with his brother Jacob for their father Isaac's blessing.

(Now hang on with me here--I'm going somewhere with this!)

When Jacob deceived Isaac and "stole God's blessing," Esau said this to Isaac when he found out: "Do you have only one blessing, my father? Bless me too, my father!' Then Esau wept aloud" (Genesis 27:38).

Isaac's blessing was more than good wishes; it was a statement of God's continuing substantial help!

A blessing is something real. A blessing can be "taken to the bank"--so to speak.

 

So, when you say, "God bless you," something substantial is happening for that person--because God loves you and you belong to Jesus! Isn't that something?

 

We need to say it that way.

 

We need to say it with intent.

 

So, bless people's socks off this Christmas season!

 

Here's some other ways to bless:

 

Do a favor for your parents or a friend...without them having to ask.

 

Stop rolling your eyes at the Salvation Army bell ringer and put some money in his bucket.

 

Help at a homeless shelter or community meal.

 

Leave a healthy tip when you eat out. 

 

Did you know that waitresses actually hate working the Sunday lunch shift? This is because--and I can hardly believe it--Christians are lousy tippers! Yes! I have read this from two sources! Some actually leave those little evangelism cards from the Christian bookstores as their tip! 

 

Oh, the shame!

 

The recognized tip in a restaurant now is at least 15 percent. These people need the money, because their tip is a major part of their pay. Many waitresses are single mothers. They have heating bills, too.

 

Let's get real; if you can't afford at least a 15 percent tip for your meal, you can't afford to eat out.

 

Wait for next week.

 

And if you're so mathematically challenged that you can't figure 15 percent in your head (like me) then guesstimate it in their favor.

 

[My cell phone actually has a tip calculator! Yeah! Does your phone have a tip calculator? I didn't think so! *insert superior smirk here*]

 

Back to the point...let's bless people's socks off--until they begin to say:

 

"I just love those Christians! They're the best tippers in the world!"

 

"I just love those Christians! They're always 'blessing' me, and for some reason things go better!"

 

"I just love those Christians! They're always helping people out!"

 

Wouldn't that be nice?

 

"I tell you the truth, whatever you did for the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me" (Jesus in Matthew 25:40). 



High School, Middle Earth and the Irish Whistle

How many of you are looking forward with fidgety anticipation for the release of "The Hobbit" in December?

Well, I am!

I was in love with J.R.R. Tolkien's novels, "The Hobbit" and "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy ever since I stumbled upon them by chance in my high school library. I spent the following three weeks utterly absorbed, looking forward to study halls and reading the books in class when I could get away with it (the road to college scholarships)!

I enjoyed escaping into the world of Middle Earth.

This was especially pleasant since my South Bend high school was a virtual prison filled with rules that could have filled the Indiana University Law Library. I still shovel food in my mouth like an animal because of the 20 minute lunches there. Hard to enjoy meals that way!

 Not only that, but every young punk exulting in his godlike strength spent all his time pushing around and verbally humiliating anyone smaller than themselves.

Yeah, that was me.

I had reason to escape.

But back to the novels: I loved the noble wood elves, slightly less noble dwarves, danger from horrible orcs and worse, wizards both good and bad...and the secret love of many men, polished engraved swords!

(Yeah, they make 'em!)

Now the books still enable me to escape my present (and now far better) existence into Middle Earth; a world where things are still made by hand, love and loyalty between men is considered normal and women can be beautiful without showing skin.

I escape often.

This brings me to the movies. When "The Fellowship of the Ring", directed by Peter Jackson, was released, my family and I entered the theater with a mix of dread and hope. Would they butcher the movie as they did  the animated version? Would they make it campy? Slip in modern gags? Worst of all, would they make Frodo cute?

Soon our mouths were open in awe as we watched the classic version unfold.

And the movie did well by me, let me tell you. I bought each of the DVDs as they came out. Then I  discovered the extended versions and had to buy those, too. They got me every time.

And they'll certainly get me with "The Hobbit " also, which I hear is going to be made in three parts, using material from the appendixes to the trilogy!

Oh, yeah!

Sometimes people tell me, "I don't really get into dwarves and elves and stuff."

I don't know why, but it makes me sad.

I loved the movies so much, and Howard Shore's magnificent soundtrack, that when I bought my first Irish Whistle, the first tune I learned to play was "Many Meetings," which fans would recognize as the hobbit's theme.

This first whistle was made so badly that my cat actually begged me to stop playing by crawling up into my lap and mewing loudly. My family loved it.

But now my whistles (and hopefully skill) have improved, and the cat, who is now sleeping peacefully beside me (she's always sleeping when she's not murdering chipmunks) gave up convincing me to stop.

And...guess what? "The Hobbit" producers have released pictures of the actors playing in the film, and I saw this picture of Bofur!

SEE? See what he's holding? An Irish Whistle!!

I'm so happy! More new music to play!

Thank you Jesus!

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows" (James 1:17).

Election Day and the End of the World

Wow, has it been this long since I've posted?

I have shame.

I apologize to my tens of faithful readers for being so inconstant in writing up my moderately-valuable insights.

I'll try to do better...I promise!

Now, to business:

This is ELECTION DAY, and I am SO glad it's almost over!

No more nasty political ads, no more caricatures of people's character, no more accusations of lying and misuse of statistics, no more people going off on each other about which candidate they support (yeah, I've done some of that...more shame).

Yet as serious as I've found myself, some people are even serious-er. I've read some pretty surprising things about the election. One site I visited (I don't remember which) predicted riots in the country if Obama is re-elected, and riots in the city if Romney is elected! What followed this amazing prediction was survival advice for people to prepare for the coming riots.

Really? Are things THAT bad?

After all, we're not Syria...yet!

Still, whoever gets elected, it seems more and more people are sensing that: First, Americas best days are over, and second--we are nearing "The End of the World as We Know It."

No kidding--that's actually the title of a book I have been reading. The author is James Wesley Rawles and he is the founder of survivalblog.com. His book describes how you can prepare for, yes, "the end of the world as we know it" (TEOTWAWKI).

(Do you have that rock song running through your mind yet)? 

Here is what Mr. Rawles writes: "The scenario I described is just one of dozens that could cause The End of The World as We Know It (TEOTWAWKI) in the near future.
"But for what other reasons should you prepare? Here are just a few terrifying possibilities (in no particular order):

• Hyperinflationary depression
• Deflationary depression
• Terrorist nuclear, biological, or chemical warfare
• A third World War
• An oil embargo on the First World Nations
• Martial Law
• Invasion
• Climate Change
• Major volcanic and/or earthquake events
• Major asteroid or comet strike"

 Apparently Mr. Rawles didn't think of super storms or monster hurricanes.

Mr. Rawles says (and he's convincing) that the networks we use to provide heat, electricity, sanitation, phone service and water are actually quite fragile and will easily break down in such a crisis (Superstorm Sandy, for instance).

Mr. Rawles does not go with the "head for the woods with a backpack on your back and a good rifle in your hands" [my words] sort of survival. He says that wild game would be decimated within weeks and that action has no provision for sickness, injury, the need for shelter--or humans with rifles and itchy fingers running into each other all over the woods (way past scary).

Instead, Mr. Rawles calls for planning, preparing and equipping a "retreat" sort of refuge with two or three other families. Actually, Mr. Rawles is a Christian and recommends stocking a huge amount of extra food and supplies for giving to friends, relatives and church families who come to you for help (bravo, James)!

There's only one problem. Following the extensive directions in Mr. Rawles well-written book would require thousands and thousands of dollars--money most of us don't have. And you would need the kind of mechanical know-how only factory maintenance men possess. And the time spent preparing such a place would be equal a part-time job at the least.

And you would still have to, in the end, shoot desperate people who wanted to take it from you.

Lots of people.

However you take Mr. Rawles words, many other people are also predicting some sort of TEOTWAWKI.

Including Jesus Christ.

Jesus said this as recorded in Luke 21: "Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be great earthquakes, famines and pestilences in various places, and fearful events and great signs from heaven.

"There will be signs in the sun, moon and stars. On the earth, nations will be in anguish and perplexity at the roaring and tossing of the sea. Men will faint from terror, apprehensive of what is coming on the world, for the heavenly bodies will be shaken.

But Jesus also said this: "At that time they will see the Son of Man coming in a cloud with power and great glory. When these things begin to take place, stand up and lift up your heads, because your redemption is drawing near."

The redemption Jesus is talking about is the rapture! That's the term (it means "joyous ecstasy") Christians use to describe the coming of the risen Jesus to receive his people to himself in the Kingdom of Heaven.

Hmmm, that's not exactly bad news, is it?

If you're ready.

Jesus said (still in Luke 21), "Be careful, or your hearts will be weighed down with dissipation [wasting your life on pleasure] drunkenness and the anxieties of life, and that day will close on you unexpectedly like a trap [finding you not ready]. For it will come upon all those who live on the face of the whole earth. Be always on the watch, and pray that you may be able to escape all that is about to happen, and that you may be able to stand before the Son of Man."

So, whatever happens in the coming years (we hear you, Mr. Rawles) we know that worldwide TEOTWAWKI will be missed by Jesus' followers. And since God dresses the lilies of the field and feeds all the sparrows (Matthew 6) he can and will take care of us in the meantime.

And that should make all God's kids feel better.