Saturday, December 29, 2012

In Protest of Excessive Pillowing

Upon reading this post, some might call me petty.

This may be true, but in fairness, married males are somewhat timid when speaking about home furnishings. Not only are we aware that all our sense of taste is in our mouths, we have a kind of, "You take the house and I'll take the barn/workshop/basement man-cave" kind of attitude.

But now I feel I must speak in representation of males who are lurking in miserable silence.

Somebody has to say something!

I'm talking about excessive pillowing.

"What's that," you ask?

It's the current trend of placing huge, overstuffed decorative pillows all over couches and chairs (not to mention stylish bedspreads) which make it hard to even sit upright on said couches and chairs.

Now we men know it is incorrect to hurl pillows on the floor. We have been taught so. There is no room to place them on end tables or other chairs, which are themselves over-pillowed.

If we scoot the pillows between us and our wives who sit on the other end of the couch, that's another kind of misery. I have no desire to look at my lovely wife from the nose up because there is a pile of three huge pillows between us.

As an example--here is a photo of me sitting comfortably upright on the couch, with remote in hand. Notice the huge, stuffed pillow discarded on the right:



Here is another photo of myself with remote, now unable to sit upright (or even appear to be awake) with a huge stuffed pillow behind me:


YES, I was AWAKE...the camera just caught me with my eyes closed!

Now I ask you, wives, which husband would you rather look at? Need I say more?

I beg you, women of the world! Lose the big, fashionable pillows!!

Make them into pet beds!

Throw them into the back of your husband's car so he can crank the seat back and take a "power nap" (when you're browsing at Hobby Lobby).

Tie them tightly together, hang them from the ceiling and practice self-defense moves on them.

Just lose them!

Men all over America will be grateful.

Thank you for your time.

Friday, December 21, 2012

Tis the Season to be Floored!

What do you do when a bunch of people put a roof on your house?

Not a group of professional contractors that you have hired.

Not a group that asks you to pay for materials (as they had every right to do).

But a group of financial contributors and Christian godly men who hear your roof is bad...and put an entire new roof on.

First, you're floored.

Then they actually come and in two days clear the old shingles off--and replace them with aluminum liners for valleys and trouble spots, high-quality shingles and a new vent on the peak.

In short, roofing far better than you had before.

Then you're even more floored, astonished...amazed.

How do you thank people like this?

How can you say "Thanks" enough?

For doing something I could never pay for without a giant loan?

All I can think of to say is, "MAY THE LORD REWARD YOU FOR WHAT YOU HAVE DONE!"