A Dialogue in the Conflicted Mind of Kelly Beutler

A dialogue between Kelly Beutler and Jesus Christ as he watches Olympic Beach Volleyball:

Kelly: Wow! Those perfectly fit women are hardly wearing anything!

Jesus Christ: Those women are hardly wearing anything.

Kelly: Yeah, Jesus, but...look! Those girls are wearing shirts!

Jesus: They aren't wearing any pants.

Kelly (every cell in his body straining to watch): I can't be watching this.

Jesus: You can't be watching this.

Kelly (stalling for time): Well...I'll leave the room and come back...

Jesus: You don't need to come back.

Kelly: But I might miss something good!

Jesus: It's not that important.

Kelly (still stalling): Yeah, but look at their technique! Their skill!

Jesus: You know this is wrong. I said so.

Kelly (to himself):  Well, it's not like Jesus is really here.

Jesus: I'm really here.

Kelly: Ohhhh kaaaayyyyy, I'll leave and watch again tomorrow. Maybe that skiing shooting kinda thing will be on.

Jesus (sighing): Kelly, that's a WINTER sport.