A Little Nervous

I've been a little nervous lately.

I've been reading some books that make me look into the very roots of my faith--and wonder if I really am what I say I am--a Christian.

Now before you avalanche me with messages of God's unconditional love, let me tell you more.

Many Christians know that following Jesus is more than having said a few words at an altar sometime. In fact, the very word "Christian" means, "follower of Jesus Christ."

And here's where the problem is. Jesus, risen from the dead, is now in the kingdom of heaven at the right hand of the Father. So how do we know when we're really following him?

A couple of Christian books have recently become extremely popular.

One is Francis Chan's "Crazy Love."

When I read "Crazy Love," it made me nervous.

Chan quoted Jesus in Revelation 3:16, "So, because you are lukewarm--neither hot nor cold--I am about to spit you out of my mouth." Chan wrote, "Jesus' call to commitment is clear: He wants all or nothing. The thought of a person calling himself a 'Christian' without being a devoted follower of Christ is absurd."

I agree. Which makes me nervous. How do I know when I actually am a "committed follower?" When I share my faith a lot? Give to the poor? Sell everything I have? Or just do better than others?

Then there is David Platt's new book, "Radical."

I love this book!

And it makes me nervous.

Platt talks about the rich man who walked away from Jesus instead of selling everything he had, giving to the poor and following him (Mark 10:17-31).  Platt talks about how we rationalize Jesus' "hard sayings" so that they don't really apply to us personally.

He says, "We are molding Jesus into our image. He is beginning to look a lot like us because, after all, that is whom we are most comfortable with. And the danger now is that when we gather in our church buildings to sing and lift up our hands in worship, we may not actually be worshiping the Jesus of the Bible. Instead we may be worshiping ourselves."

See? Nervous.

So our flock group and I, who are reading "Radical" and discussing it together, decided to do something about this. We decided to pray and ask God for more--more of whatever he wants for us. And we decided to accept what he says. That's the nervous part. Because we all know--no matter how much evading we've been doing--that God can ask for anything.

Our house. All our money. Our safety. Anything.

So I began to pray. And God almost immediately gave me an answer.

He said, "Know me."

Relief! Gladness! Joy!

Not because I wasn't asked to sell my house (well, maybe a little)! But because God took me instantly back to my roots.

I learned many years ago that knowing Jesus is everything.

If you know Jesus, you will love him.

And when you love him, you will do anything for him.

I once read of a man who, in prayer, told Jesus he didn't know him enough. This was Jesus' response: "Read Matthew, Mark, Luke, John and Acts three times and you'll know me as well as your closest relative."

Just for fun, I'm going to do that.

Because I love getting to know Jesus better.

And Jesus fills me up.