The Preacher's Horrible Deed

Last Sunday I did something I thought I would never do.

No, I didn't hit anybody in the mouth.

I didn't get drunk and wreck my car.

I didn't access computer porn and drool on my shirt.

But it's almost as bad.

I went to church Sunday, ready to preach my sermon...and realized I'd forgotten my Bible.

Yes! And me a preacher!

As I left the house, I saw it sitting there on the bedspread and I grabbed a bunch of other stuff and walked out without it. Fourteen years of full-time ministry--then it happened.

I have shame.

To make things worse, the "alternate Bible" on my desk was a study Bible and the print was microscopic! Was I actually able to read this stuff once?

So, using "The Microscopic Bible", I preached, lost my place several times and couldn't find it (always fun when 100 people are watching in complete silence) and staggered through the sermon.

So when I began work this week, I got a bee in my bonnet and bought [insert drum roll here]  a "LARGE PRINT BIBLE."

As the elderly Indian friend of The Outlaw Josey Wales said, "Old age is creeping up on me."

But it's not really that bad. If you compare the print size in "large print Bibles" with that of an ordinary hard-cover book, you'll find they're pretty much the same. It's just that "large print" in a book with as much material and notes as a Bible is different than "large print" in a novel.

So I'm not really getting old, see?

There's something really neat about buying a new Bible. To steal from another movie, "I love the smell of a new Bible in the morning. It smells like...victory!" That's the Vietnam cavalry officer in "Apocalypse Now"--I always liked that quote. But he really said, "the smell of napalm"--which is not so cute.

Why victory?

Because when you actually read your Bible (instead of honorably storing it on shelf) you get to know Jesus.

And when you get to know Jesus, you realize he's actually a real person, a real man with (gasp!) a personality!

And when you get to know the man Jesus, you find out you like him.

Then you find out that you love him.

Then you find that, somehow, he has become the most important person in your life--even more important than your family!

And when you love Jesus, he loves you back--BIG TIME!

And when Jesus becomes that important, you suddenly realize you'll do anything for him.

And then the adventure begins!

Read your Bible. Start in Matthew, read a bit a day right through Revelation. Then start in Matthew again. Get into the Old Testament, especially Psalms and Proverbs, after reading in the new.

Don't read the Bible like a novel, or you'll start in Genesis and die somewhere in Leviticus--without ever reading about Jesus. Trust me on this.

Read it.

And Jesus will change--your--life!